free write

I guess ill do a free write. i hate them with a passion but i will do it because it is part of my grade. well since im here let me start with the last few days. I start training tomorrow to be a manager at McDonalds. Yes, a fast food resturaunt. The hospital still hasnt called me back at all and i still need to make an appointment to go to the doctor because my back is messed up bad. I still havent set a date for the wedding because he had second thoughts. Which honestly makes me think he just doesnt want to marry me. If not then he should of thought about not wanting to be with me before we had a baby and moved in together. He should of thought about it before he spent three years with me. I thought everything was going good. I thought that we were finnally at a point in our relationship where everthing was falling into place and we could finally get over the past and move on with our future. I thought that he wanted to be with me but i guess he doesnt. I wish if that were the case then he would tell me. Never out of all the years ive known him has he ever had a problem telling me if soemthing is wrong or if something isnt right or if he jsut doesnt want to do anything. He just never had a problem. now out of the blue he just doesnt want to get married. He asked me for my hand in marrage not the other way around. he asked me if i would be his forever and i agreed and now he just doesnt want to. our aniversarry is next month, almost a month exactly and the origonal idea was that we were gonna get marrie on the 23rd. now we have nothing. I should have known really. Everything he has almost ever promised me has always turned out to not happen. its so annoying. But maybe its my fault. Since i have gotten pregnate I have kind of been a little crazy. My hormones are not in balance and it causes me to freak out over the smallest stuff. I dont always have a good reason to but i do have a reason to get mad most the time. like for instance. Him just going to random parties without me and i have to be told he was having sex with someone else. good reason to be mad right?