free write- 5

there are some things in life you just cant get. like me. i cant get a chance to milk katty the ktts cash cow for the life of me! i try and try and try yet fail miserably. i just dont know what to do. its so annoying. i cant ever get to what i want to do. its like life looks at me and gives me the finger and says haha i can fuck with you. I never sleep i never eat i never get to do anything because little britches wont let me. its really really annoying. but anyways i guess ill just keep chugging along like i always do and just believe something when it happens to me. like every weekim just rambling because i have nothing better to do. but another thing that is bull shit is that my fiances aunt freaked the fuck out on us because we want to move into the family farm but she wants to sell it to get money but we want it to make a life there and she just wants the money. its so annoying that we cant make a life because all she wants to do is make money but her mom left 30000 in a saftey deposit box. her saftey deposite box for indurence on the house and the land to keep it and if its sold she gets all that money which i think have has alot to do with her wanting to sell it because she doesnt want to pay it and keep the money but ill get that house because that is all of our future. my family and his family. so we are just gonna get a lawer and keep it +}

narrative essay

Emily Burleson Mr. Neuberger English 101-132 06 September, 2012 Narrative Essay “The Beginning of Baby Gunner” Isn’t it funny how life doesn’t turn out the way you want it to. It’s almost as if we have our plans and life has its own. Some would consider it luck, others destiny or some could even think of it as fate. Whatever it is, it’s not what I had in mind. If you would have asked me four years ago how I pictured my life at the age of eighteen, it wouldn’t be where I’m at now. No, not me. In my mind it was much different. Everything I have ever done lead to where I am today. Every good, bad, stupid and smart decision I have made lead me to a part of my life I never thought I would experience, at least not now. I wasn’t expecting to be a mommy of a precious baby boy or a soon to be wife. But, this is where fate or destiny or whatever you want to call it led me. It led me to the most amazing thing I have ever seen, the start of my beautiful family. Senior year started much like any other only I was legitimately excited to go back to school because I knew it was the last year I had before college. I seemed to have my life figured out. I started a job at McDonalds, my boyfriend and I just had our Two year anniversary together, everything was going great and we couldn’t wait to live life. Unfortunately, that feeling and mind set didn’t last too long. Two months after I started my senior year we found out I was pregnant. That’s when everything got really complicated. It seemed the farther along I got in the pregnancy the worse things got. At around six weeks I started bleeding. I was rushed to the hospital and the doctors weren’t sure if I was going to continue on. From there, they referred me to a high risk specialist. I saw him and he suggested for me to take it easy, so I did. Things got better for a few weeks until I was thirteen weeks along. I started having tremendous amount of pain in my stomach, so again, I was rushed to the hospital. The doctors announced the baby's heart rate was extremely low and called in the specialist. From there I found that the placenta was tearing away from my wall. That’s just the tip of the iceberg. A week after suffering a placenta prevail (placenta tearing from the wall), and my mom kicked me out. The following day I was diagnosed with preeclampsia at a routine doctor’s appointment and put on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy. Everything just seemed to be happening so fast. It felt like all of a sudden nothing was right anymore. The last month was more hell than all of it put together. He stopped growing, stopped moving, his heart rate dropped way down with every slight contraction and movement. I begged the doctor for weeks to make sure he was okay because I never felt him move. They didn’t believe me and kept throwing kick count sheets at me as if I wasn’t already doing them myself. I knew something was horribly wrong and if they wouldn’t listen then what would I do? If I couldn’t help my baby then what good was I? Better yet, if the doctors wouldn’t listen then what good were they? I had so many questions going out but, no answers coming in. Luckily my doctor went on vacation on my 38th week, and I was having ultra sounds done. I had had those two weeks prior to that and the ultrasound technician agreed that something wasn’t right too; he hadn’t gained anything in three weeks. (Although honestly if you ask me if she did her job like she was supposed to then she would have seen something was wrong the first week). Anyways, she sent me to another doctor that was on call for my doctor. He looked at everything for two days, the fluids, the placenta, the umbilical cord. I mean he looked at everything more than once. The second day he told me he would have to induce me or my son would die. We decided to have him that day. I had a 2 hour notice before I went in to be induced. The only thing I kept thinking of was my son’s life. I just kept praying to god to let my son be ok. I went home and gathered mine and his bags and went to the hospital. I arrived at the room and got in the gown and went to the bed. They put the IV in my arm and thirty minutes later started the oxytocin. I could hardly take my eyes off of the monitor. With every contraction his heart rate just went lower and lower. It was the worst thing in the world to see. The doctor came in and broke my water to try to get him to move along. I was in labor for twelve long hours before I got to meet my baby boy. His daddy cut the cord, and my baby boy came out just fine. Once the placenta was delivered it was 95 percent dead. The doctor said if I would have waited any longer my son would have been dead too. Gunner Lea Terrill arrived at 1:35am on June 23, 2012. He was 5.8 pounds and 19.5 inches long. He was bald headed and had the most amazing cry I have ever heard. I thank God every day I look in that little boys eyes that he came out ok. I might not have been ready to be a mommy just yet but that little boy is my world. He is everything to both me and his daddy and has brought so many people so much closer than they were. So no, this isn’t where I pictured myself at four years ago. I might not have always made a wise decision or been the smartest person in the world. Call it what you may, luck, fate, destiny, whatever it is this is where life has chosen to take me. I am the proud mommy of a beautiful baby boy and the soon to be wife to the love of my life. This is where I’m supposed to be and this is what I want to be the rest of my life.

So my baby is sick. not just sick but really sick. I dont think i have ever been brought to tears so quick in my life like i did when he stopped breathing last night. He is my world and means so much to me and i dont know how to make him feel better. as a parent that is the worst feeling in the world, to know that your baby is sick and needs help but you cant help them. There is so much mucous in his little lungs and chest and nose that nothing and i mean nothing seems to make him feel better. With every fiber of my being i wish that i could help him feel better. The worst part is i got him sick. I tried so hard no to but i guess when your his mommy there isnt much you can do. i cant put myself in a big bubble and not touch him like he is a disease. although i guess im the one with a disease. not a nasty one im just sick. but the point remains that i feel like the worst mom in the world because i got him so sick he cant hardly breath. i have tried everything from nasal salline to steam to pedialyte and none of it is working. nothing seems to be helping my little muchkin and oh my goodness i cant stand it anymore. i cant stand to listen to him weeze or cough or cry anymore. it breaks my heart for him to do any of it. I am going to call the pediatrician today and see what he has to say. I mean his temperature has went back to normal. so im not worried about his temperature just about the mucous build up in his lungs. on another note though. my wedding was called off. the groom decided he wanted an actual wedding.... i wasnt to enthusiastic mostly because i know that we wont ever have the money for a wedding

Sensory Language

William was no ordanary human being. He could smell and see most things others couldn't. Light was to bright for him, objects to fragile. From the time he was a young boy he could sprint faster than most animals. The was different from the rest of the humans, from the way he talked to the way he moved. He was extra sensative to smells such as gases and body fluid as well as order. At the age of 10 he stopped trying to be normal. The agony of his differences from the rest of the world was to much for him to bear any longer. He couldn't use a keyboard to type without breaking it. When he read books the words were to magnified. When food was cooked he smelt every ingridiant of the cuisines and it drove him absolutely crazy. William locked himself in his room and tried to hide from the outside world. One day while sitting in his room on the highest building in New York City his abnormalities were put to good use. He heard a man trying to rob a female trying to put gas in her motor vehicle.William was faced with the choice to drowned out the voices of the screaming man and woman with  music or spint to help the woman. Needless to say he helped the woman. Although the colors were to much for him and the sounds of nature and laughter overwelmed him. all he could think about was helping the woman in need. In the end his abnormalities were bitter sweet mixed with a little spice. He embraced his abilities and stopped being so sour. Now he could finally move on with his life.

sensory language

William was no ordanary human being. He could smell and see most things others couldn't. Light was to bright for him, objects to fragile. From the time he was a young boy he could sprint faster than most animals. The was different from the rest of the humans, from the way he talked to the way he moved. He was extra sensative to smells such as gases and body fluid as well as order. At the age of 10 he stopped trying to be normal. The agony of his differences from the rest of the world was to much for him to bear any longer. He couldn't use a keyboard to type without breaking it. When he read books the words were to magnified. When food was cooked he smelt every ingridiant of the cuisines and it drove him absolutely crazy. William locked himself in his room and tried to hide from the outside world. One day while sitting in his room on the highest building in New York City his abnormalities were put to good use. He heard a man trying to rob a female trying to put gas in her motor vehicle.William was faced with the choice to drowned out the voices of the screaming man and woman with  music or spint to help the woman. Needless to say he helped the woman. Although the colors were to much for him and the sounds of nature and laughter overwelmed him. all he could think about was helping the woman in need. In the end his abnormalities were bitter sweet mixed with a little spice. He embraced his abilities and stopped being so sour. Now he could finally move on with his life.

free write-4

Well I cant tell you how excited i am to get married. We found the rings we wanted and set the date for November 23rd of this year. As the day gets closer i get so much more excited. i cant wait to be Mrs. William Terrill. On another note. My best friend Brittany had her baby boy yesterday. The only sad part is he has down syndrome. he is so sweet and precious and it is a tragety that he has that but there are so many people who love him and are going to be there to support him. me being one of them. plus our sons are going to be best friends because really they have no choice. but we will bring him up around those kids and they are going to love him just as much as we do. after school i am going to go see her in the hospital again. i know i just ramble but really i dont have much else to talk about and it is kinda annoying that i have to ramble. here i am rambling again. but anyways. my baby boy doesnt feel to good. im not sure why but he is running a bit of a fever and the only way i can get him to go to sleep is by holding him or laying him beside me and patting his back while i hold his hand. if i turn around he gets mad and if i slightly move he wakes up. he wants mommy right there. and it makes me feel good. mostly because im needed but it also breaks my heart because i dont want my baby boy not feeling good. he is my world and so is my fiance and i dont want anything to happen to either of them. but on another note. for some reason i just dont know why he hurts so bad. i dont know if he just doesnt feel good or what but he kind of has a cough not a bad one just a little one and his poop is black and im thinking about calling the pediatrican and asking him what he thinks i should do. i have given him tylonol and that doesnt really seem to help out much. but really i just dont know what to do anymore. i dont know if i should just keep him close and see if it passes. but i think he might be cutting teeth because his gums are really red and where i think he is cutting a tooth is soft yet hard and so he might be besides that he keeps slobbering. which i know babies slobber but not my baby.